The Truth
When Ezra and I got to drinking, our talk often turned to Dadaism.
We both felt the need to ridicule and reject the “reason” and “logic” of bourgeois capitalist society and believed that only through the introduction of chaos, anger and irrationality into the DSU election process could the union truly reach its full potential. One night, we decided to make it happen.
It was then that we built the first Debogorski.
Thanks to a line of NSERC research funding secured through a secret CASA lobbying effort and the high-tech tools in the machine and fabrication shop hidden deep in the basement of the SUB, we were able to create a marvel of robotics, the Debo1. No mere human could match him in unpredictability, ability to formulate recursive and nonsensical policy or sheer volume.
Most people thought that the Imagine DSU events that year were a way of engaging hundreds of students in charting the future of the union. In reality, they were an elaborate proving ground for our new creation. And he did excellently. Fueled by gallons of “We Proudly Brew,” the Deb-bot distracted, interrupted and scared more students (and university administrators) than we thought possible, giving them all a deeper, more complex understanding of themselves and the union.

We honestly didn’t think the Debotron would last long in his first election before being exposed as a machine, which is why he only ran for Board of Governors.
We were initially concerned that the bot’s antics would lead the other candidates and the electorate in general to shun him. We shouldn’t have worried. Plenty of people treated him like a real candidate. Even when Debo1 threatened members of the executive with physical harm, people just laughed nervously and carried on.
In that first election, the robot was constantly down for repairs, causing it to miss several debates and other campaign opportunities. Overall, however, we were happy with the performance of the prototype.
We also knew that next year we had to up the ante.
Debo2 was the first presidential model. He performed much more reliably and we gradually began to find the right balance in his programming between the crazy outbursts and whacked-out ideas and just enough buzzwords and populist indignation to have him taken seriously by a significant part of the student body.
We further refined the Debogorski throughout its last two elections, slowly tweaking his lounge lizard identification protocols and improving his manifesto-writing capabilities until he became the masterpiece of robotics, psychology, anthropology and art he is today.
At the same time, his constant presence desensitized the electorate to his underlying computer-generated instability.
Now, thanks to John Hillman’s endorsement, Debo4 stands ready to finally win a DSU election and assume the position he was built to inhabit.
150 years of “rational,” human presidents end tomorrow night and the era of anarchy, madness and, most importantly, growth and understanding begins.
For The Union!
We both felt the need to ridicule and reject the “reason” and “logic” of bourgeois capitalist society and that only through the introduction of chaos, anger and irrationality into the DSU election process could the union truly reach its full potential. One night we decided we had to do something to make this happen.
It was then that we built the first Debogorski.
Thanks to a line of NSERC research funding secured through a secret CASA lobbying effort and the high tech tools in the machine and fabrication shop hidden deep in the basement of the SUB, we were able to create a marvel of robotics, the Debo1. No mere human could match him in unpredictability, ability to formulate recursive and nonsensical policy and sheer volume.
However, we soon found that the first brain we fashioned for Debo, while capable of following simple commands and creating random outbursts, wasn’t fully-formed enough to pass for a normal Dal student. That’s why we enrolled him in Management.
Most people thought that the Imagine DSU events that year were a way of engaging hundreds of students in charting the future of the union. In reality, they were an elaborate proving ground for our new creation. And he did excellently. Fueled by gallons of “We Proudly Brew,” the Deb-bot distracted, interrupted and scared more students (and university administrators) than we thought possible, giving them all a deeper, more complex understanding of themselves and the union.
We honestly didn’t think the Debotron would last long in his first election before being exposed as a psychotic machine, which is why he only ran for Board of Governors.
One of our biggest hurdles early on was the lack of a documented history for Debo, mainly the the lack of a facebook profile. We managed to explain this away by spreading the rumour that he had been kicked off the social networking site for virtually stalking and harassing a number of female students at Dalhousie. The perfect cover.
We were initially concerned that knowledge of the bot’s supposed creepy behaviour, and the witnessing of its ongoing antics would lead the other candidates and the electorate in general to shun him. We shouldn’t have worried. Plenty of people treated him like a real candidate. Even when Debo1 threatened members of the executive with physical harm, people just laughed nervously and carried on.
Unfortunately, the robot was constantly down for repairs, causing it to miss several debates and other campaign opportinuties. Overall, however, we were happy with the performance of the prototype.
We also knew that next year we had to up the ante.
Debo2 was the first presidential model. He performed much more reliably and we gradually began to find the right balance in his programming between the crazy outbursts and whacked-out ideas and just enough buzzwords and populist indignation to have him taken seriously by a significant part of the student body.
We further refined the Debogorski throughout its last two elections, slowly tweaking his lounge lizard identification protocols and improving his manifesto-writing capabilities until he became the masterpiece of robotics, psychology, anthropology and art he is today. At the same time, his constant presence desensetized the electorate to his underlying insanity.
Now, thanks to John Hillman’s endorsement, Debo4 stands ready to finally win a DSU election and assume the position he was built to inhabit.
150 years of rational, human presidents ends tomorrow night and the era of anarchy, madness and growth begins.
For The Union!




In a rant posted on the NSPIRG website earlier this week titled Attempt to destroy NSPIRG, the group railed against the “right wing members and Councilors of the Dalhousie Student Union” that they claimed were trying to shut them down. The article contained a number of inaccuracies and used the term “right-wing” to describe their opposition five times.
I’m not quite as brave as John or Lisa, so I won’t publicly wade into the bare-knuckled rumble that is the Snow-Zimmerman presidential race. I would, however, like to offer my opinion on one of the races a little further down the ballot.
I’m not in Halifax, so I can’t offer blow-by-blow debate recaps or scary photos of Mark Coffin, but I have participated in a few heavily-contested DSU elections, so perhaps I can give some idea of what goes into a good campaign, and what to look for if you’re trying to predict this year’s outcomes.
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