The Truth
When Ezra and I got to drinking, our talk often turned to Dadaism.
We both felt the need to ridicule and reject the “reason” and “logic” of bourgeois capitalist society and believed that only through the introduction of chaos, anger and irrationality into the DSU election process could the union truly reach its full potential. One night, we decided to make it happen.
It was then that we built the first Debogorski.
Thanks to a line of NSERC research funding secured through a secret CASA lobbying effort and the high-tech tools in the machine and fabrication shop hidden deep in the basement of the SUB, we were able to create a marvel of robotics, the Debo1. No mere human could match him in unpredictability, ability to formulate recursive and nonsensical policy or sheer volume.
Most people thought that the Imagine DSU events that year were a way of engaging hundreds of students in charting the future of the union. In reality, they were an elaborate proving ground for our new creation. And he did excellently. Fueled by gallons of “We Proudly Brew,” the Deb-bot distracted, interrupted and scared more students (and university administrators) than we thought possible, giving them all a deeper, more complex understanding of themselves and the union.
We honestly didn’t think the Debotron would last long in his first election before being exposed as a machine, which is why he only ran for Board of Governors.
We were initially concerned that the bot’s antics would lead the other candidates and the electorate in general to shun him. We shouldn’t have worried. Plenty of people treated him like a real candidate. Even when Debo1 threatened members of the executive with physical harm, people just laughed nervously and carried on.
In that first election, the robot was constantly down for repairs, causing it to miss several debates and other campaign opportunities. Overall, however, we were happy with the performance of the prototype.
We also knew that next year we had to up the ante.
Debo2 was the first presidential model. He performed much more reliably and we gradually began to find the right balance in his programming between the crazy outbursts and whacked-out ideas and just enough buzzwords and populist indignation to have him taken seriously by a significant part of the student body.
We further refined the Debogorski throughout its last two elections, slowly tweaking his lounge lizard identification protocols and improving his manifesto-writing capabilities until he became the masterpiece of robotics, psychology, anthropology and art he is today.
At the same time, his constant presence desensitized the electorate to his underlying computer-generated instability.
Now, thanks to John Hillman’s endorsement, Debo4 stands ready to finally win a DSU election and assume the position he was built to inhabit.
150 years of “rational,” human presidents end tomorrow night and the era of anarchy, madness and, most importantly, growth and understanding begins.
For The Union!
We both felt the need to ridicule and reject the “reason” and “logic” of bourgeois capitalist society and that only through the introduction of chaos, anger and irrationality into the DSU election process could the union truly reach its full potential. One night we decided we had to do something to make this happen.
It was then that we built the first Debogorski.
Thanks to a line of NSERC research funding secured through a secret CASA lobbying effort and the high tech tools in the machine and fabrication shop hidden deep in the basement of the SUB, we were able to create a marvel of robotics, the Debo1. No mere human could match him in unpredictability, ability to formulate recursive and nonsensical policy and sheer volume.
However, we soon found that the first brain we fashioned for Debo, while capable of following simple commands and creating random outbursts, wasn’t fully-formed enough to pass for a normal Dal student. That’s why we enrolled him in Management.
Most people thought that the Imagine DSU events that year were a way of engaging hundreds of students in charting the future of the union. In reality, they were an elaborate proving ground for our new creation. And he did excellently. Fueled by gallons of “We Proudly Brew,” the Deb-bot distracted, interrupted and scared more students (and university administrators) than we thought possible, giving them all a deeper, more complex understanding of themselves and the union.
We honestly didn’t think the Debotron would last long in his first election before being exposed as a psychotic machine, which is why he only ran for Board of Governors.
One of our biggest hurdles early on was the lack of a documented history for Debo, mainly the the lack of a facebook profile. We managed to explain this away by spreading the rumour that he had been kicked off the social networking site for virtually stalking and harassing a number of female students at Dalhousie. The perfect cover.
We were initially concerned that knowledge of the bot’s supposed creepy behaviour, and the witnessing of its ongoing antics would lead the other candidates and the electorate in general to shun him. We shouldn’t have worried. Plenty of people treated him like a real candidate. Even when Debo1 threatened members of the executive with physical harm, people just laughed nervously and carried on.
Unfortunately, the robot was constantly down for repairs, causing it to miss several debates and other campaign opportinuties. Overall, however, we were happy with the performance of the prototype.
We also knew that next year we had to up the ante.
Debo2 was the first presidential model. He performed much more reliably and we gradually began to find the right balance in his programming between the crazy outbursts and whacked-out ideas and just enough buzzwords and populist indignation to have him taken seriously by a significant part of the student body.
We further refined the Debogorski throughout its last two elections, slowly tweaking his lounge lizard identification protocols and improving his manifesto-writing capabilities until he became the masterpiece of robotics, psychology, anthropology and art he is today. At the same time, his constant presence desensetized the electorate to his underlying insanity.
Now, thanks to John Hillman’s endorsement, Debo4 stands ready to finally win a DSU election and assume the position he was built to inhabit.
150 years of rational, human presidents ends tomorrow night and the era of anarchy, madness and growth begins.
For The Union!
It’s funny how someone is actually trying to make change in a stagnant union and all you can do is slander his name. No wonder you were President Tipping, what a politician.
Punditry an all time new low with allowing this post.
What a disgusting post. Like…this is just embarrassing.
@Jon Stewart
Sorry. I just can’t believe that any candidate would be treated with this much disrespect after not harming anyone.
Guys,
Normally, I keep my comments off the site, but this doesn’t meet the usual standard of commentary. It is neither insightful nor is it clever. Greg ran a real campaign this year and deserves respect. He deserves that respect whether or not you agree with him and the way he presents his arguments. You should consider taking this down.
Mr Hobbs-
I appreciate bringing the brigade to my defense.
I am a man who believes strongly in the Canadian freedom of speech.
Students aren’t dumb. I’ve been saying for years that they can run their own union without delegating authourity to elected or non-elected agents. Everybody is the president.
If they can do that, then it logically follows they know how to judge information. If individuals make me out to be a bad guy, and I am wrong about students, then atleast I built awareness of our unions agents, culture, & operations.
Former President eh?
@Mark Hobbs
I know, maybe we should impeach Tipping — you know, for just generally dropping the ball, not doing his job?
MICHAEL SMIT, TEAR DOWN THIS POST.
… no, just kidding. If any of the other candidates were the least bit charismatic or interesting, maybe they’d get the same treatment as Debo, but this year’s been a bumper crop of wallflowers. Greg oughta wear this like a badge of honour because once again he’s got people talking.
“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they laugh at you some more, then they write a funny (but not exceptionally so) article about you, then you win.” — Greg Deboghandi.
PS I eat cabbage bigger than Tipping
@Gregory Debogorski
That’s the spirit.
You’re all nuts. This is hilarious. The best thing posted on punditry this year by far.
I agree: this post is crap. Mike, if you dislike Greg, just keep it to yourself or to the pages of your personal blog nobody reads. Just because you were president once and thus have access to this platform, doesn’t mean we want to hear from you about your petty grudges or hang-ups.
Maybe next time, you can get over yourself and actually write about the campaigns?
Wow, is that the Einstein field equation and the density matrix formulation of Schrodinger’s equation on your whiteboard?
@Catherine Holloway
It was a complicated build.
@Mike Tipping
Were you expecting this robot to travel close to the speed of light? And also able to shrink to a really tiny size?
@Catherine Holloway
I’m not allowed to talk about stage five.
@Bethany
Actually, I’m pretty interested in reading this, so speak for yourself. It’s a heck of a lot more entertaining than the Gazette was this year. Just saying.
@John Doucette
Maybe you can ask Mrs. Tipping for the web address to Mike’s personal blog?
I love how Greg can take a joke, but @Bethany , @Mark Hobbs and the rest of the posters can’t. What do you think punditry is? It’s satire. Jesus.
Re: the gazette. Yes, this is far better than anything they’ve put out this year. Agreed.
Over the past two years I’ve actually come around to respecting Greg a great deal. Everyone has. He’s been a passionate candidate who kept his promise of running until there is change. I think the dude is awesome. I think that this sort of rubbing comes with the fact that he’s grown so much as a candidate over the past however many years. I also think he understands that. I think you should too.
People are actually offended by this? Debogorski seems to be the only one who had a reasonable response, here.
This is hilarious, as far as I’m concerned.
@John Doucette
It’s certainly more like news than a lot of the “news” features I’ve seen in the Gazette, anyway. At this is funny and blatantly false, rather than making subtle changes to serve anyone’s personal agenda…
@Jon Stewart
There’s no way Jon Stewart would not find this hilarious.
@Gregory Debogorski
I don’t think you are a bad guy.
I think you’ve done a good job this year. The fact that you are rubbing some of the established talking heads the wrong way just means you retain your original appeal, even though you’ve become more savvy with the political process. That’s a good thing!
Maybe Tipping feels Greg has far greater ability to take this humorously than any other candidate. I think he does. I also have to give him credit for that. Greg has given a lot of shots but has also taken a lot more and has been doing it for four years. Keeping us all both on our toes and sometimes entertained. The guy if nothing else has a sense of humor. Good job Greg! No matter how things turn out tonight I think he can at least walk away from all of this elections stuff with no skin off his back for the crap people say(including me).
@Mike Tipping
I miss you.
@Mike Tipping
Don’t projects funded by NSERC have to publish their experimental plans and results?
unless…
OMG PUNDITRY IS RUN BY THE ILLUMINATI
@AA
Let’s set the record clear. It has been on like Donkey Kong, between tipping and I for years. People never say these things in person.
In my opinion, this post wasn’t meant as a joke.
Thank you to Bethany, Hobbs et al for coming to my defense.
For the union!
@Gregory Debogorski
How could this possibly NOT be a joke? Do you think Tipping is actually claiming responsibility for building you as a robot? IT’S SATIRE.
I am absolutely baffled at how anyone could possibly be offended by this.
@It Wasn’t A Joke?
They’re humourless twats.
I think it could be a joke if it were written by someone who Greg had an amicable relaionship with. But when it comes from someone like Mike Tipping, whose leadership Greg has publicly opposed, and who has already made prominent disparaging remarks about Greg, I don’t think a post like this can be considered “in good fun.”
The premise (“Greg is a robot I built”) may be outlandish, but the context of the post defines whether it is meant as a insult or as a ribbing.
http://www.lyricsmania.com/robots_lyrics_dan_mangan.html
Eerily appropriate especially:
“Tried to be the robot king
And settled for a robot boy
Ring the bells that still can ring
And sing your stupid head off to
The ones who are not listening” -Dan Mangan
@Lisa Buchanan
And I you.
@Bethany
I really don’t see how you could consider it anything but “in good fun”. It’s not like Tipping wrote something like “Greg is so angry all the time because he’s a crack addict. I know because he stole my stuff to pay for it”. Something which is, even if unlikely enough to possibly qualify as satire, is within the realm of possibilities. The post is asserting that Greg is a robot. Think about that for a second. Does anyone really believe that it is at all possible that Greg is a robot? Is anyone going to think less of Greg (for being a robot I guess?) because of this post? At best, it draws laughs. At worst, some idiot thinks Greg is actually a robot. I don’t see how that could be bad.
It’s possible you’re offended by the implication that Greg’s policies are generated by a randomized algorithm. That’s a whole other issue, but again, I don’t see how anyone could be offended by that. If you buy a modern scientific understand of thought, that’s pretty close anyway.
Also, I have no idea what you meant by “Maybe you can ask Mrs. Tipping for the web address to Mike’s personal blog?”. Who is Mrs. Tipping? Why should I talk to her?
@John Doucette
It seems you missed Bethany’s both funny and original joke about how Mike Tipping has a personal blog but only his mom reads it. My understanding is this is the level of humour, “not-crap”, and general quality that either Mike Tipping or all of punditry.ca should aspire to.
Unrelated:
Guys, I feel like comparisons between this post and the Gazette don’t make a lot of sense. For example, this site is available online and the Gazette isn’t. The Gazette is supposed to be a newspaper, and this isn’t. The Gazette is paid for by students, and this isn’t. This site is basically 100% an Opinions section, and… err. Anyway, it’s not really comparing things that can or should be compared.
As a final note, a lot of the names complaining about this post are the same person, or living in the same house, so don’t worry Tipping, there’s no angry mob on its way to tear you apart.
@John Doucette
I didn’t find it offensive, but I do believe that Greg is a robot. In fact, I know it to be true. How I know this will be revealed in my next blog post.
You guys need to open your eyes to the world outside of the DSU. It’s pathetic.
I see no evidence that anyone here lacks a perspective of the world outside the DSU. Would you care to elaborate?
Demers: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.