punditry.ca — uncovering DSU elections

Hello friends.

It’s that time again.

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It is the time of year when aspiring student politicians decide if they want to seek a DSU position and all the glory that brings.  It seems appropriate to share with you excerpts from Microcosmographia Academica, a 1908 treatise on the “Tiny Academic World”.  In light of the tone sometimes used in the comments section last year, it seemed appropriate.

My heart is full of pity for you, O young academic politician. If you  will be a politician you have a painful path to follow, even though it be a short one, before you nestle down into a modest incompetence. While you are young you will be oppressed, and angry, and increasingly disagreeable.

…First, perhaps, I had better describe the parties in academic politics; it is not easy to distinguish them precisely. There are five; and they are called Conservative Liberals, Liberal Conservatives, Non-placets, Adullamites, and Young Men in a Hurry.

A Conservative Liberal is a broad-minded man, who thinks that something ought to be done, only not anything that anyone now desires, but something which was not done in 1881-82.

A Liberal Conservative is a broad-minded man, who thinks that something ought to be done, only not anything that anyone now desires; and that most things which were done in 1881-82 ought to be undone.

The men of both of these parties are alike in being open to conviction; but so many convictions have already got inside, that it is very difficult to find the openings. They dwell in the Valley of Indecision.

…

Read the full document for a complete description of academic politics, including ways to oppose ANYTHING, like “that sets a dangerous precedent”, “if we do X, what stops us from doing Y” (thin end of the wedge), “the time is not ripe”, and so forth.